maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
