YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
