The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
