College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
