Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
