I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
