Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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