She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
