Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
