oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
