Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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