Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I would fuck him just for his dog
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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