And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
