Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Randomize
