you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
