My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
