dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
