U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
my poor anus
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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