So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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