4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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