Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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