Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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