Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
