Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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