hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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