the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
