Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
