Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
