he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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