i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
