Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
