So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
organizing the empties. That sober.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
