He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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