Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
