I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
