Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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