Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
