Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
