clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
He has the fingertips of a God
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