I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
