I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
