No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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