I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
