HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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