last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
