Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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