you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
