just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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