i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
