i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
