What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
