So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
