I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
